There is No Year

Most times, my heart is the size of a city. I carry the energy of a thousand marching bands, and everything is clearer than the very water we drink from. The ground is firm beneath my feet, and the sky is endless spectrum over my head.

Stars dance inside my head. Trumpets blare from the pit of me, and I feel like a god amongst insects. It's not a sense of superiority, it is a knowledge of the calculated potential of what I am. What I could be. What we all could be.

Other times, I feel empty. I am the lunchbox of the poorest family in the world, with nothing to offer anyone. My vision is blurred by coke-bottle glasses, and my brain plays back endless radio fuzz. My chest crashes and falls, a Mustang falling down an endless gorge. Imagine, to fall forever... would one enjoy it?

We all live under this second, false sense. We are all individuals, calculating and calculated by the machine that is society. Our bones are used to build the skyscrapers of mankind. Oh, the merits of us. Oh, the potential.

But for now, that potential is on the back burner. I feel like I'm walking around in a windtunnel blindfolded, clueless and helpless. I sometimes can't tell the feelings between falling down, and standing up, in this metaphorical sense. I walk the Playdough ground and look up to an electric sky, without a single natural light in it.

We all calculate ourselves based on a year based on someone I don't believe in. Therefore, aren't we all living a lie, at least possibly?

Perhaps we should measure time by the merits of man, instead of the myths of Gods.

But merits. Merits. They are the single building block that mankind really has. We need to realize this and build something with the sheer amount of human potential. There are times that we simply realize that we are meant to do something. Your heart flutters, you suddenly look up with hope. You spend days drawing and designing something, you are the architecht of a dream. Hope becomes you.

Truth be told, I need hope. Sometimes, I feel so alone and confused. Is companionship the answer? I sometimes wonder. The idea of sharing my life with someone who shares my love of living is simply the best thing I could ever think of. After all, we are all human. I feel that I am not meant to live this life alone. I'm standing out on this cliff with a telescope, looking for you, my dear.

There is hope. There is love, and life.

But, there is no need for God. There is only need for action.

In my mind, there is no God.

There are no years.